vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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Today is a very depressing and stressful day.

Even the pleasantness of coffee with Jenny was depressing. I also hate Nova.

While I got rejected from BEd to Brock, which I htought was strange, I got a letter a couple days ago inviting me to their Masters program, actually. So I could get a Masters instead, which is outside of the whole Bed process. I am wondering to do that or to le Oiseaux. The dreams of birds. My pay would increase according to some standardized things by $6,000 but I also hear that it won't from in-practice sources. It would be a step beyond to a PhD though. I'm not sure what to do and it sucks. The decision is a burden. I received this letter not too long ago and it was really weird to open it and see thislong letter to me about something weird that I had no clue. I didnt even apply to the program.

I want to go drown in Lake Ontario if I dont kill myself in my apartment first. I need either a vacation or a trip to the therapist. I wont and never will take drugs but I feel there is something very strange going on inside of me. I am usually very happy but the past week I have sunk inot this really dark depression. My finger is gross.

7:30 pm - 05.14.08

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