vaneigem's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tuning In Decisions are difficult, especially when you are avoiding making them. Wow, I'm a fucking genius! Something I've learned this year is that sometimes you have to be irresponsible to figure out what you want. And some things feel fucking necessary even though they totally aren't in the grand scheme of things. I'm kind of surprised I have never gotten food poisoning. I don't really think twice if I go to eat at a sketchy place. After Toby's party we went to a diner across the street and I ordered a hot sandwich. I didn't know that a hot sandwich is meat on one piece of white bread smothered in gravy. I didn't want to barf so I had about one fifth of the meal. Toby ordered a Hot Beef sandwich. He told me that he was Jackie's neighbour and Trevor would prance over and they all would hang out together in high school. That party was a fun/funny time. And a nice time. So many metalheads and they were all like fuck it, lets get wasted and listen to some third eye blind. Most of my friends when I was a teenager were metalheads, and not to make any generalizations here, but metalheads tend to have really great attitudes and be great people. Allison and I were talking about how coming from a punk or whatever scene gives you a good sense of like taking care of people and i guess a ' diy' ethic or I don't nkow. You know what I mean. There is an immediate sense of mutual understanding, to an extent, when you meet someone that has a similar background like that. Well in metal they're either that or the alpha male type but you can distinguish those in a split second usually. I'm listening to a mix I made Marc from his birthday in 2006. I guess for someone who hasn't heard the Dead Milkmen, Surfin' Cow isn't their most representative song. I also included a song called "Leave me Alone" (Circle Jerks) on it and I guess that's mean. It's always sort of awkward if there's a really good song, but you don't want to send the message the song delivers to the person. I keep it to a level 1 " This song is just cool is all." So don't get the wrong picture if you're my buddy and I put Hungry Eyes on yr mixtape. I had braces for the 3 years of my peak awkwardness and ugly-feelingness that it was just like the braces made no difference so I guess it was a good time for me to have them. Now my bottom teeth are fucking up. I'm good with it so long as nothing frekay happens. My sister would always be like "You're fat" and I'd be like "You're ugly." That was our relationship before we got cooler and became allies. I'm actually pretty surprised I don't have body image issues now that I think of it. I'm pretty fucking cool with everything. Chub is great skinny is great whatever makes you feel good and healthy. Feel good be good just don't buy into anything. Except for a fuckign extra cheese pizza when you want one. I'm in the process of kind of house decorating. I wnat a nice simple Bauhaus poster for the entrace hallway stairs but it's like $135. It might be cooler if I write in my diary what I do rather than what I am thinking. I guess even when I do stuff I don't write too much about it. Yesterday I went to Value Village and it sucked , that SHannon girl who looks like a porcelain barbie on drugs was there and I hightailed it after 5 minutes. I saw some shitty movie called Rocket Science. Today I tutored and 8 and 9 year old and I'm working on an essay. I guess teh first step is to not feel guilty for haivng not worked on it and start with a positive attitude. My mind is on other things so I'll try getting it out of there for a couple days. Stuff is pretty unpredictable. Maybe I'll talk more about it later. It feels like my body is full of rainbow sprinkles or some shit. 10:57 pm - 03.17.08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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