vaneigem's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'M AVE FUCKING MARIA
EDIT: Have a pet?? FUCKING TAKE CARE OF IT!!! There is nothing I hate most than selfish fucking people who impulsively buy without taking any responsibility! Cassie has adopted her boyfriend's cat for 2 weeks while he is on tour and she hasn't changed the litter box once nor is she EVER home ever and it really irritates the hell out of me. I also realized my love-hate relationship with cats. This one behaves really weird, probably because no one took care of it, and well it also makes me sneeze. I told Cassie today "Yeha I think the litter box needs to be cleaned." If any of my roommates said that to me I would take the hint that they are fucking pissed and get on it immediately. i can't even sit in the livign room to read my magazine, it fucking smells!! I refuse to do that!!! I am livid! She won't even walk to Queen Video on Queen st to return a movie and instead is going to wait 2 weeks for her boyfriend to do it!! Her room is filthy ahh she is NICE but what the FUCK. LAZY
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. GM GA GE.
Valentiney was fun and nice and chill! Geoff got me an amazing watch. 
We sort of did our combined christmas/valentines presents since we don't really care. I made him amazing cupcakes with bright pink icing and gummy bears on top because he's pretty fucking into Gummy Bears. We played and had a nice dinner etc. It was valentines and its over.
I am in a pretty heavy rough patch still. I"m handling it all well though, as I would. I Do What I Want. It's that whole cliche about a struggle being a necessary vehicle to get to positive change and so I guess I'm happy for what it is that I'm in. I'm making it my vehicle. A part of me gives less a fuck than ever. I'm not trying to not, like, you know, fucking cry and shit over it and deal with it in a cool way and just recognize what I need to do when I need to do it.
So I called off our girl night last night. Jenny and I deepened our friendship this past week by confiding in one another about our respective "demons," mine being my anxiety and her eating disorder. We are helping each other out and it's a good positive thing. I went out with her Valeria and some other stupid fucking people came along. This guy Josh really grosses me out and when I was leaving he wanted to hug me goodbye and it sickened me beyond words.
I spent yesterday working on one single stupid fucking song. I won't bore you with all the technical details, the new way I'm doing things is harder but more legitimate. By nightfall I was feeling nauseous from just listening to the stupid fucking thing. I decided to scream just like how Burzum sings in "Spell of Destruction" near the end. It sounds very trebley as if you are being tortured in a cave and your throat is bleeding. Well it turned out fucking wicked. I also like that you can't tell that I'm a girl. When I try to do sweetiepie pop I sound raspy like Annie which is ultimately boring. I want to blend the emotional and the political, light and darkness.
I'm really into Crass right now. Penny Rimbaud is the coolest most genuine shit ever. I saw the SOft Focus Interview with him last night and it's the best shit ever. It would be pretty cool to have a political conversation with him. Reel him in with brandy.
There's nothing I hate worse in the world than skiing. Skiing is the shittiest dumbest idea ever to be invented. Sort of!
4:05 pm - 02.17.08
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
other diaries: |