vaneigem's Diaryland Diary
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THE MYTH OF TRUST
I am sitting in my room after cleaning it, after putting my laundry away, via a makeshift dresser, or rather a shifted dresser. The second last standing shelf collapsed today. I am excited to be rid of it. I Just bought new shampoo, conditioner, and bubble bath. It is really exciting for me to have new products such as these. I also got Geoff bubble bath to give to him later because he's getting into them and I"m all for him doing so. I got him a manly aloe kind adn I a vanilla honey blend. I wish I got the cherry blossom. I am burning a candle like a loser but it smells delish and makes my room smell accordingly.
I took this picture of me one hour ago procrastinating other things. It's trivially fortunate that one cannot see how this shirt makes me look questionably pregnant. 
My media player went from Billy Bragg "The Myth of Trust" to The Birthday Party "Friend Catcher." These are both amazing amazing songs. The Myth of Trust is depressing and nostalgic and real and true. I hardly know anything about Billy Bragg really, yet I have liked him since I was 15 and there was a book about him kciking around my house growing up, but I never really looked into it. I looked up some youtube videos and I thought if I was 35-50 years old, I would want to practically marry him in the truest of realities. He is full of conviction and fearlessness. He is so repulsive when he is younger and his song sexuality is so embarrassing but he's cool.
Today I went into Pages and the older woman who works there, I think is the manager or who owns it, she is so cool. She has long grey hair and is Steinemy. I stare at her when I am buying my books. Once she commented on After Theory about how she really likes the ideas in this book, and I of course couldn't comment directly because I hadn't read it yet. I want to apply there, but if she interviewed me I would be so nervous and would have to maybe show up on a shot of vodka following a day of brainwashing myself through silent motivational speeches.
I contacted Ryan and he is getitng back on Platypus which I am happy about. Ian messaged me and we will start our group. I noticed there are a lot of readings from the 70s. Not only that but there is a LOT of Marx, Adorno and Trotsky, Trotsky I am interested in touching upon but for me I would rather knitpick at more modern texts. I would love to take social democracy int he global periphery and analyze that. We are living in a completely different world order now and there are a lot of new ideas and I dont know, I guess I"m more interested in being a more contemporary collective because I think it will be more appealing and attractive. That is an issue I would like to raise. I want to eliminate the 1917. That is just ridiculous. In some ways. I guess I have my own take on how things should go, but it's not too clearcut and I have an open mind in case someone convinces me otherwise.
I was supposed to hang out with Gabe today and he was supposed to give me his interface thing, and come over and show me how to use a few things, but it never worked out. I had too much to do today. I ate Quiznos today. I'm such a careless writer in this that it sounded like the important thing I had to do was eat Quiznos. That's not what I mean, but I'm switching to a different subject. That subject is Quiznos. My favourite meal in the world is a 9" quiznos traditional sandwich without olives, please. It is the most beautiful sandwich. I never knew what turkish delight was until I read the Chronicles of Narnia, and if I could construct my own entity for the phrase " Turkish Delight" it would be that quiznos sandwich. Turkish delight sounds like the most delicious treat but I hear that it's kind of gross. I would like to reappropriate this name to the confection formerly known as Quiznos Traditional Red Basket Dish.
I ran into Rommel today and he called me "sweetie" and "honey" and it was in a big brother kind of way and it kind of made me feel like a sugar pie honey bunch. He recently actualized his passionate life dream to become a chef.
I guess I'm going to go now. I guess I'm getting used to ongoing mild depression. It sure is boring. Everyday I make to do lists.... tomorrow's to do lists includes washing two sets of sheets, thinking about jobs, and starting a painting or a series of two paintings. I want them to be good. I'm prett yhappy I'm palying guitar more. I wish Gabe and I were able to do that thing today. I need this interface> I hear it is better to record via mic + amp, but at thi spoint I cna't really record at 3am living with other people, so it's pretty good for my lifestyle and considerate of others or whatever.
I found my copy of Fanny & Alexander behind my desk which I'm happy about.
I don't have much to say to anyone. When I run into people i wish it was acceptable to stand infront of them in silence fo ra few minutes and just take in eahc tohers presence, to look them in the eye and know through their eyes that they are okay and then continue on walking. I mean, at this point. I mean, like, today. I'm not a jerk ALL the time.
I feel like I deserve a life better than this one. I wonder how some people are doing. Next summer I really want to go to Norway still, I want to go there by myself and live in a cottage there for 3 weeks. Faro would be a lot fucking cooler, actually. A cottage on that island on the lake. I want it to be a psychotic retreat. I'm thinking practically about it. I miss traveling and seeing the world. By the time I've finished this, Blur's Parklife is playing. That's funny. I hope I don't get rudely awakened by the dustmen. It won't be Wednesday. It will be Friday. My sex drive is out of this world. Consistently, throughout my whole life.
Geoff kept my book on witches and we agreed for him to take it away and not let me have it until I finish the book that I am reading NOW so I really have to finish that book so I can start learning about my witches.
1:05 am - 01.04.08
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