vaneigem's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THURS JULY 3
I also think I had trouble sleeping because Geoff and I were cuddling in bed, it was the most comfortable thing of my life. The sound of his voice cooed me further and deeper into sweet slumber. And then he left, because to my illusion, I had to wake up ridiculously early. So we cuddled and nearly fell asleep and then kissed goodnight. Then I crawled back into bed and missed his guts. We hung out that night for my birthday. He took me to the Beaver for dinner adn we had delicious lamb burgers. I fully accepted the fact that thelamb I was eating was probably once very cute and alive and now I"m eating his cute little flesh. Cutenivore no more. After deliberationg and following my theatrical persuasions, Geoff finally agreed to open his own birthday present. I was excited. I got Geoff a sweet APC shirt from nomad. This is my favourite mens store in Toronto. They have amazing things, and the staff has always been so friendly and helpful to me. I love APC, it is so typical of me to wait this long to fucking figure it out. I want this light blue peterpan APC shirt, from APC. Tee-hee. In a tree. For free. With me. It was a good birthday overall. I told hima bout the depeche mode song I am obsessed with. And of course, Geoff knew the one I was talking about. Depeche mode and new order are " our" bands. An dhe knows everything about good music and everything else that is good. Of course he pointed out that the song is entirely about drugs. We were trying to invent the perfect word to call those people who are like 30+ years old and are still working their sales associate jobs at american apparel, hang out with 17 year olds, sell their nasty coke to 17 year olds, date 17 year olds, and basically act like 17 year olds. We never talk shit about people, but this " type" TOTALLY exists. I keep looking back to my lunch with my sister. My relationship with my sister is great.. I'm nto sure if it's our clsoe relationship, or if it's that I just really trust her, or if she is just a really good amazing perceptive person in general... but it's as if she could say two sentences to me and everything that ever bothered or upset me could completely dissipate and I could finally move on wtih my life. I think it is 40% that I just really intensely look up to her. I think it's hard for me to recognize when I deserve better and she is always good to point it out to me. I am really in love with Geoff. We have really built our relationship into this really trustworthy, respectful, and mature love. We have our moments of weakness, and I really I know I have already articulated this here before probably, but it just amkes me happy and to be honest if you told me I would be in this position two years ago, I would have totally said IMPOSSIBLE. Think about when you had your first good kiss or love or whatver, and I can honestly say that it is like that for geoff and i everytime we see each other. I think we are seeing some Werzog shorts tomorrow night downtown which should be fun. We both had shitty days and had fajitas. We talked about how we both need to eat better and we might keep to it. 2 seconds later he said "who am i kidding." But geoff is skinny and doesnt even need to pay attention to that shit. I do!!! I always feel regret after I eat a big meal. The way people eat here is really excessive and portions are out of control. I think I would feel healthier and happier if I did lose some weight. I think I"m cool and there are areas that I will awlays be self conscious about. I just think it would be good to set a realistic goal and conquer it. I want to feel more in control. 12:30 am - 10.10.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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