vaneigem's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE THIN LINE BETWEEN DESIRE AND DEMENTIA
Hello lovers.
Bed was a large part of my day; what a pleasure. Speaking of the phenomenology of staying in bed all day. Ironically, I read After Theory by Terry Eagleton, out of extreme anticipation. This book has been sitting on my shelf forever, a birthday present for Trevor like 3 years ago that I never got around to sending. Sorry buddy (if you read this). It got weird to send a 3-month late birthday present so I just kept it. But the book is forever coloured by the month of May. Anyway, Platypus calls us to read this. I am obsessed with the direction that socialism is taking right now. If you think it is stagnant, or that the new left is stagnant, you haven't looked hard enough and may as well go listen to Nirvana in your basements and enjoy yourselves. Thanks to my somewhat impulsive tendencies, the new Sandbrook book is being shipped to me as I speak. I havne't even seen it, and it is already my favourite book. Sandbrook is a fucking genius by genius's standards. That said, he is also probably the most uncharismatic person you'll ever meet. I've decided that I should become his stylist and do his PR and help him become a theorist celebrity. In other words-- I LOVE SandbrooK!!!!!!!!!!111 I want to have all his fucking BABIES!! Yeah, I wnat to make breakfast for mr. sdanbrook!
JOKING!
I taught yesterday. They are all so young and impressionable, I love it. There are some great smarty pants teenagers. It will take me a bit to get comfortable, in speaking and teaching but I"m looking forward to it. I also TA in Norma's calss, kind of a side-thing. She is pretty much the worst teacher in the fucking world. It scares me because she's turning even more kids off politics. In general, a few of the teachers are big douches, some of them are really smart but jocky and scary, but some of them are smart and cool and friendly. While Thom is kind of scaring me (which is good, because it intimidates me and makes me work harder), Kurt is being so kind and helpful. The balance is great. He is really going beyond his call of duty here, and I really appreciate it. Kurt is DA BOMB.
Later on I am working to elevate the standards of politics curriculum. The department I'm working in is full of 30+year old men, and it's really intimidating for me as a 23 year old woman to be honest. I won't let htem intimidate me, but fuck. They really fucking do. Consequently, I feel a lot of pressure to bring out certain aspects of myself to work against the age and gender dynamic. Such as speaking extra strongly, and with conviction at all times. So I"m staying serious and professional, which really isn't "me". I want to be the regular giggly ol me but then no one will take me seriously. A lot of people who meet me at first think I'm ditzy and stupid by proxy. And I'm not stupid, I'm really smart and I work really hard, but I'm usually in a really good mood and get excited by everyday life is all. Sometimes in social settings I'm embarrassed about my high levels of excitement and have to actively keep myself chill and serious, if I'm around standoffish people because I dont want to make anyone uncomfortable. I just have to be careful to make a good, professional impression that is also "me." I have a lot of research to do for the election coming up. The lifestyle though... by the time I get home it's like 3:30! I have a lot of time to work on my own projects and when I decide to move on, I will actually be able to make it happen becausssssssssssssssssse... Yeah. because.
I hung out with Jenny and Michelel last night as a pre-birthday celebration for yours truly. I am turning 23 yes. I always think of my age in terms of what age I"m working towards, so this whole year I have been going on 23, so now it's more like I'm turning to go on 24. And 24 sounds SO MUCH older than 23 so holy shit. Anyway our night was fun, I was bought all sorts of double shots and double those doubles, doubled to the double. Queen Elizabeth on the $20 bill said smoke some pot. Well it was something like a phenomenon, becuase Peter showed up like an angel. A metalhead pot angel. I met all these new people and most of them were douches and so we were kind of isolating ourselves being somewhat rude and bitchy, but whatever, its my birthday, I'll do whatever I want. Sam someone bought me a drink, I don't know who he was. He was wearing a fedora. Peter and I tlaked about norway again and metal music. I told him he missed out on 5 years of a thriving metal scene (we grew up in the same city) and he said " yeah I heard about those shows all the time" and i was just like " that was my life." And it was. Every friday/saturday night. Sooo after going to Peters, I got high and funny. I can't remember what I was saying, but my mind was running a mile a minute. Jenny went home, I walked home with Michelle. Her boyfriend lives in my old apartment, actually, in my old bedroom which is totally BIZARRE. My house was 1 block away, so I walked up there by myself. Then two cats came strutting along down the street. Well I for some rason just thought this was great. I spent the next 15-20 minutes playing with the cats and then I thought it would be a great idea to bring one into my apartment so I did. Just in the foyer, though. I gave it some pieces of turkey because it was obviously just hungry and that was the only reason why it wasplaying with me. Then I realized I shouldnt have a cat in my apartment, and also that the other cat probabl wants some turkey too. So I gave the other one some,a dn then they hissed at each other and I was like whoa you two shoudl sort this out yourselves and I went home showered and went to bed. That was retarded!
Tomorrow is Geoff's birthday; he is in Montreal. I will wait until lunch time to phone him, just in case he ends up sleeping in ridiculously late. I also have shopping to do, because I didn't do any yesterday. I also have to go to the art store to get a canvas and a large piece of rough paper. Also... living with cassie is fun.
9:50 pm - 10.04.07
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
other diaries: |