vaneigem's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A MEEKER Currently. Sitting at computer, black high waisted skirt, yellow zebra tank top tucked in with big baggy black wool "fat vest" overtop it all with black witch shoes. I love my fat vests. I have two fat vests right now. They big baggy vests that make you look fat but feel good. I thought of taking photos of a gross sight I experienced today. I read a message from Matthew: "I can not believe you went to the wrong window!!! And you didnt even have the courtesy of cancelling your order and waiting in line again so she did not have to walk 5 feet!!! I thouhgt you were different!!!!(hehe) You didnt even watch to see if the drink hit him???? That would have been sweet!!!! Espescially if it hit him in the side of the head, or right in the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Matthew is extremely enthusiastic and loveable. HE always acts interested even when you are telling the dumbest going-nowhere story. He is referring to a story I told him. Bee and I went to McDonalds at 2am in blvl, I was driving (sober) and I didn't pay at the right window. the lady got really mad at me and i was like holy sorry i dont really go to mcdonalds very often you know. "well now i have to walk over there." I offered to drive back around and she was like NOOO FORGET IT. Holy mama!!!! I bet I was the drama of the night. I bumemd out becuase i made a perfectly fine human being walk five feet while working. We ate our gross crap on the bench beside the bridge. A man scared the hell out of us, asking us for cigarettes. I was like I dont smoke, naturally. Bee offers him some of her drink, because she is friendly and drunk, and he takes the drink and smashes it on the ground violently, walking away. What the fuck, right??! We stared in silence as he walked away a good distance. Today really sucked. I was depressed all day. I am broke and can't do anything. I can't even buy a canvas to be productive. I took my paints out and curled the paper. I can't go out to dinner with friends. I can't go out drinking. I can't go dancing because I dont have money to get in. Boohoo. I feel guilty to get a job as I have to figure out the days I am working at schools.. I want to be completely available and ready to volunteer for anythning I can get my grubby desperate teaching hands on. Music makes me sick right now. I listened to Sgt Pepper for the first time because I read today that it is a major kate bush influence. I thought it was real good. But whenever I started to feel connected to it, I thought of one the millions of other people that probably felt the same way and I shut it off. I dont know what that means for me. I dont understand how you can live a normal inspiring life when youre so busy being insanely popular whether you like it or not, it makes me question the later beatles things. Which is probably a load of bullshit but thats just how i feel about it. I missed the traina nd I"m cool with it. Don't Care. I can't make anything. I saw Genev's new videos, they aren't as good as dracula. I realized the songs I have are the first demos from when she emailed them to me 3 years ago and now the songs are all different and "upgraded ". It is weird to hear. I could want and want all I want but I simply need more equipment, unless i want to be really loud . Actualyl I cant even do that because I dont even have a stupid amp. Like I want to waste my money on this thingy. I was so desperate that I fed my computer speaker through the headphone output, and input mic into my compute rand recorded that way. Which is just really really sad. It is kind of cool though to have those limitations. I used my mic as an output once and it got all fucked up and sounds better now. I want so desperately to finalize a band. A fun band that is like the plague... careless, minimal, fun and catchy. Where is Allison? I Do not know. Where is anybody? I do not know. Would you like to make it owrk? I do not know. Band name: Don't Care. My hair is chopped off buecase it just had to happen and my family made me. That's right-- I did it for the family. My hair will be extremely long, healthified. I went to a new hairdresser who everyone lvoes and I didn't like her. I am having an ugly few days, it just doesn't help that all my " security hair" is gone. My face has spots from weird insomnia lately, and stress. I could care less but it doesnt help from a variety of annoying shit going down lately. I started a site to put my thingies up. I did it to motivate me to do more stuff and put more up. Is the point. We are getting a cottage for andy's wedding. 3:47 am - 09.07.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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