vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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BE THE ONE

Today we went to S. Chris and prepared for Teens in moetion. I "manned" one of the "stations" , probably the dumbest one of them all but my high levels of enthusiasm and encouragement I suppose counteracted its suckiness for the kids. Cooked a lot of food. ONe of the volunteers just sort of got a plate and then plopped down and ate. I think I made a good impression by taking the initiative to help serve and clean up... apparently she freaked out with them. James said I have been "wonderful" while introducing me to matthew, so it's good to know I"m not a total fuck up and they actually like me. Alex said I was good with the kids and I am. I think two of the boys int he group have crushes on me because they pick on me. baha. What else.. it was fun, but running around and being around so many people all day... I am so tired and have this lingering headache. I should start working out and build up my energy levels. I want to be able to be gogogogo until I rest my head on my pillow at night. That or I use too much energy in the day. I'm trying to figure out a little "program" for myself.

Went to the library and looked for some books , but they didn't have any I wanted. I got a sandwich and felt better. There was a couple behind me arguing and it was really annoying. I just wanted to sit eat my sandwich and not be around a pile of stress and read my article about Claire Danes in Eye magaizine, who by the way, seems like a moron and says stuff like " I'm a lazy actor." SHe really made herself sound mediocre and boring. I don't really give any two shits about her but it is just funny, when you make it that big and have this huge movie that people are saying is going to be your big lead role break in your career, and she says shit like " i'm passive and lazy" .

i randomly looked for a book that my friend had recommended to me, and u of t had it surprisingly, so i went all the way over there and it wasn't on the shelf. so what the fuck yo??????

i am tots going to bed so early tonight and getting up early and having a nice morning maybe even going out for breakfast!!!!!!!!! we are graff'ing tomorrow and also bakign for a fundraising bake sale the next day. i hope i get to go with the graff kids but he baking shit will be funyn and i'll be able to take initiative so i guess either way. sarah freaked out today in the kitchen with the kids i guess because she is too quiet and really doesn't try too hard with the kids. i'm really really really happy that i LOVE this age group....................... it is so challenging for me, it's really interesting. i think with tutoring the younger kids it felt a bit brain-numbing. for example with most grade 10s or something you can give tehm a what the fuck are you even doing look?? and they'll usually know what they're doing wrong and realize they are being retarded. its also just a lot more complicated.. teenagers question more, have more questions, more drama, responsibilities and expectations and dreams. it is very exciting.

living here is cool, i like my roommates, i just wish they were around to talk more. not really the fact that it's lonely here, i like having the house to myself, but when c. is here she always has her door closed. i just find it kind of weird. maybe they hate me, but practically it makes no sense. i have lived with tons of people and got along with everyone just fine. my personality is pretty agreeable, i clean daily, i'm fairly quiet. whatever.

time to go and chill and read some i think. that or just go to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:38 pm - 08.14.07

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