vaneigem's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- YO Last night sucked. So late this week I was diagnosed with this thing I dont really wanna talk about here. It's not too serious but it gives me a really super increased risk of diabetes and all this shit, and bunch of other shit. At first I was a bit upset but not really, just a bit bummed out but since it is particularly asymptomatic compared to other stuff, so it won't really affect me much until maybe when I wanna I get older. I told my mom the next day. I dont have it for sure but I have to get ultrasounds done to double check. There is no point sitting around feeling sorry for myself when I could get up and do something about it and get super fit, active, and eat like no sugar. That is going to be hard! stressin!! Yet I see that as sort of a plus. Although I look at like sweets and shit now and just wont have it because I know itll make me sick. It makes things a bit easier. Anyway I like to keep everything to myself whichi s probably why Im such a fucking huge worrier but this kind of thing I need to tell my parents. So I go tell my mom and of course being young and diagnosed with this sort of thing is the worst because your parents get super worried whereas if I were older they would be more supportive and strong about it. I have to go to a bridal party thing for Kelly this saturday, and I really wanted to make it for Jimmy's bonfire thing because it was his birthday. So I had this plan to hang out with axl bee adn nick in the day and then go to the bridal thing, leave at 9pm, hop on the train then treck it to brickewrroks to go to bonfire . I tell my mum this that I wont be seeing her since axl . jesse. whatever. is picking me up at the station and he's going to be sweet and drive us around . Its cool. The day was pretty awesome. Hanging out with jesse was wicked. They were waiting on the edge of the train platform bee taking all these pictures of me getting off the train laughing holy embarrassing. Then we high tail it to jesse's parnets. This guy has the best most amazing parents ever. His mom hugs me and calls me and bee her " summer girls." which i think is a wicked name for a band so thanks mrs balttuutis. His parents are just so awesome I cant get over it. They are like these super relaxed active fit funny people who offer you drinks when you come voer and make you sandwiches but are really cool about it and keep staying stuff like " youth is wasted on the young!!!!" all super nostalgic. Anyway it was a blast and jesse is just so embarrassed by them but he's just being and idiot. Nick and jesse got fitted for tuxes (4 wedding) and we hung out with them, it was funny. jesse and nick look so handsomely chistled in their suit jackets. we went back. Im feeling good keeping my mind off things and glad its not getting in the way of me having fun . HTought id be pretty depressed for the week but im having a good time la la la. Go to liquor store, run into people etc. We were going to have a picnic, but jesse wanted gross poutine gross. K mariah carey jsut came on and its a good one. IM making a mariah carey mixed cd for my mom in her new car. anyway . oh yeah, so we decide to make a " family dinner" at jesse's . His parents had this couple there, who were also all into youth and shit so they loved talking to us and it was pretty funny. This one guy greg kept talking to jese about photography because hes getting a dark room in his new house w/ laura , and he just got back from amsterdam so greg starts telling stories about "when i was your age in amsterdam" about all this hash and shit, but its cool because hes very classy. Apparently rosemary grows wild there on the moutnains. In the middle of making dinner I phone my parents to say hi, I get my dad who is like ont he brink of tears about my "illness" . WTF. Hes upset / pissed im going home without seeing them, etc. I get off the phone it made me so mad. I just want to have fun and tehy want me to come home and mope around about my "illness" to them. great support!!! I kinda put myself in their place though and while it did really annoy me/piss me off, I could understand so I though thte right thing would be to stay home. Theyre nice to me and have been giving me money lately so I felt like a shit bag just fucking off back to Toronto for a party when they're crying their eyes out. Major bummer though. Jesses mom took pictures of us drinking beer on his steps, which is just so hilarious. His mom is a total babe too. Anywway, we pick up kelly, make ehr this funny hat, get wine and stuff fo rthe party so as to not come empty handed. Go there, itw as one of those weird sex things where like everyone sits around and some girl passes around dildos. THats hilarious. I have a bit of a problem with that stuff on one hand but it was funny to see all the weird shit people make just to get funky. A bunch of it was made in Japan, and I guess tehy put faces on dildos. I was trying to explain it to some old lady what " implicit" meant while explaining why japanese companies do that after asking this lady. It kinda freaked me out to see kellys mom holding two rainbow lit up dildos . Everyone was wasted and laughing but was it ever fucking fucked!!!! I wont even talk anymore about it cuz hoyl shit man. My mom picks me up, I get home and i talk on a saturday night about this thing I have which makes me cry so much and it just sucked. My dad is like hugging me like Im going to die its ridiculous. Like they really arent helping me in anyway, pulling me from my friends, crying when they shouldnt be, it just makes me really worreid when there really is no reason to me. I'm tryting to be understnading and strong though, its funny that when you get something like that its like you have to be more strong than everyone because everyone else is freaking out cuz they care about you. I was pretty bumemd out mostly because I couldnt make it to Jimmys thing and ended up doing nothing on a saturday night because i have this stupid thing, but maybe he wouldnt care much anywya. But once again its not a big deal adn I dont want to freak anybody out. Its benign, asymptomatic, not cancer or anything like that. I am going to go to a nuritirionist now and would like to start working out 5 days a week. My goal is to lose 20-30 lbs because it will help me a lot wit hthis and keep me at a good base of health, cuz i dont want that diabetes insulin thing effect from it which is lame, so i figure ill just focus on working on that because the other things i cant do anything about. so i may as well do this super fit shit so i can at least give myself the illusion that im being cool and healthy and improving. It s amuch different task when its pure aesthetic, I kinda have to do this in my eyes. Anyway!!!!! Im home in Toronto now and now everyone is deciding to go to finch's cottage again next weekend, axl will come this time so i really want to make it and if finch wants to do it then im going which will rule. i really like this lady starudst song by liisa miskovsky, apparently she is like britney spears of sweden or something. Friday night I phoned gigi and he was at the beaver when I just wanted to leave a message on his machine saying night so he woudl get it the next morning cuz he was nervous doing some dj thing. He sounded different and drunk. He phoned me the next morning which was nice. I hope things with that work out. I cant really take this thing I found out i ahve and then only to be screwed over in other aspects of my life. but I'm just not thinking like that because that has led me to bad places. Im going to go say hi to my roommate now. Im sad I missed jimmys birthday i feel like a bad friend . I missed isaacs night because i was bummed finding that out the day of. i dont wanna start telling people about this because theres no point but i also dont really wanna be vague telling people i have personal problems or something because thats just so annoying. i guess the only thing i can do is look up and focus on projects. im trying to think of a childrens book to write. I think im totally changing the plot and making it more along the fantasy lines. i think itd be really aweosme. this girl ellen i met who is an illustrator in belgium is kinda interested in doing it, but i think it would be really hard to collaborate because i dont want to give all control to her in illustration so maybe ill just do it myself. itll take probably a year or two to finihs but itd be cool to get it done in like 2 months. anyway this music is getting shitty so im going to go change the playlist . have fun make it count!!!!! 5:54 pm - 08.27.06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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