vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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LOST YA LOTS YA LOST YA

Today I am finishing writing critical yet constructive letters to the corporate head office of my workplace. I wrote letters to my ninety-six year old Nana, friend/ex manager, and that Grand Mr. MacMillan himself, the aforementioned head dude. I also woke up at 6am, worked ten hours of retail, swarmed by customers, and then I didn'dt really feel tired at all.

I haven't been stung by a bee for a really long time and today it happened, I think twice in my life. Call me a complete moron, but it's a lot scarier when yr older cuz yr parents don't really care that much and yr stuck with worrying about how maybe biology has it all wrong and maybe bees inject some kind of unidentified poisonous venom inside your body that make certain people with the initials J.L.A.K.C. go blind, crazy, and paralyzed. all at once. Sometimes I worry like this and it's why nothing really stresses me out, because I"m used to worrying about everything in the back of my mind, especially that which defies scientific probability/possibility.
THat's the problem with thinking and liking to be prepared for anything/everything.

So I often write lists of things in random places, lose them, and then find them a few months later. They usually remain relevant, make sense, and I for sure usually remember writing them, but today I found this list:


THINGS FOR THE APARTMENT THING
- nice duvet
- nice curtains
- new wine glasses, preferably unbroken
- ph d.
- new clothes hamper, bigga=betta

PH.D?!?!??????

why woudl i write that?????
i mean, it's obvious that i need one of those.

I can't decide whether I want to go to Ottawa and maybe run away from family events to go downtown. I was very upfront and honest with my mother today in mentioning it, and I don't know, some of my aunts' sisters have that "I go to the gym to keep slim for my CEO husband, and then head to Starbucks with the other Botoxic Queens to keep up to date with the Small Town Gossip" thing going on from time to time. The prospect of having a Ladies-Out with them is unnerving yet curious. Try everything twice? It's not like they're bloodsucking vampires or anything.
I'm beginning to appreciate the coffee types though, I"M really into those Ice Caps this summer. I refuse to give in, but.... technically... I have....n't.

One of my best friends wrote this article about small dicks on some Montreal clubs site and it's hilarious because she tells this story about one of my friends (whose name was changed for protection) and I know who she is just from that very story of revenge about CUM and I can't wait to talk to her next to give her big ups. So this friend is plagued by falling in love with dudes with small weewees. I'm nothing like this, could I care less about such trivialities? NO. She claims that maybe I don't care cuz maybe I have never experienced a small dick, which I guess is great, and then I get thinking, and realize how we're talking about small dicks and just say "I love you" and life moves on for us again. Meghan is the outcast in all of this, I could never imagine her uttering even the words "NICE BULGE." the thought of her doing that just makes me shiver, and then, life continues further. and before you know it, BAM we're in mtl.

I put in my resume/cover letter for this job thing I wanted tonight and it's so amazing and I put so much effort/time into it. THta's all i really have to say regarding that, so thanks.

So I saw that movie the VILLAGE the other day and i was so excited to get scared and maybe piss my pants. I almost ripped the person who i was with's arm off, but that was just like the only scary part and it was just moderately scary and i mean i think i just was waiitng for it the whole movie that my tension just built up and at the scariest part, i just had to rip someone's arm off. i'm sorry. so anyway it was ok. i like forests and stuff and the forest in it remind me of the one right in my backyard, that i grew up in, that i built treehouses in. the creature costume thing i actually found beautiful. that's my movie review the end.
what have i seen lately that's amazing??? buffalo '66. i saw this shit a long long time ago when i was like 12, i don't even know, but i saw it again a few weeks ago and can really appreciate that. gallo is such an asshole in it and i think that it's hot. for some reason i think i am attracted to people who i can't ever have, or would never want, ie/aka/re: billy brown. i think i'm attracted to the challenge. keep me on my toes.

i'm not that good with boys cuz the rare occasion that one of them is actually into me, being chased by them tends to just annoy me rather than flatter me. i suppose it varies though. cuz i am generally down with extreme forwardness because it's kind of intimidating and i like how it puts me on the spot. and it's just generally hot, ie confidence.

i can't stand sappy lines and embarrassing dawson's creek talk and anything that puts me in those situations.

i ahven't written a big thing in this thing in a long time and i'd justlike to tell you that my summer is both the best of times and the most confusing of times. i'm gaining back motivation in general, not like i ever didn't have it, but you know. and acknowledging the appreciation for breathing and keeping a loose grip on everything that isn't me.

i like my life a lot. new order kind of fixes a lot of things.

michelle says:
i gotta go matt is here!!!!!
michelle says:
bye!
THE LD PARTY PROGRAMME says:
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
michelle says:
i nkow
michelle says: buye1
buoy

10:27 pm - 08.09.04

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