vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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- x x x

sometimes you have to stand naked in order to make it, so get your priorities straight. you're being eaten alive in a man-made pond, you and me both man, yeah they hear you when you slam that door. and i try my best to stay quiet, but i'm too smart to stay silent. some defend their hearts before they defend what create them. and when they speak a different language, they can manipulate yours in the power of translation. it's easier to get out than it is to stumble when you're already knee deep in the mud. and it's easy to forget when it's not your reality and it's not your neck on the line. we've all got lies whether we like them or not. in politics, if you want to live, you have to choose at least one lie. in that case, there are some i just don't agree with. if there is any advice i'd give to a newborn, as much as i sometimes don't live by it, it's this-- do not truly trust, love, or believe anyone except yourself. act through it all, and act it well. change your character from time to time, but no matter what, always remember it. never let your own vulnerability kill you in the process.

anyway. it's hard to care... when you truly don't care. i love being in fucked up situations under fucked up circumstances. i look at it as a game, for real.

i seriously get drunk off my friends. i'm also actually the hugest ditz and i always try to hide it from people i don't know very well. it's just cuz i am always so happy and i like to have fun. i guess sometimes things get to me, but it's just from being wrapped up in the rest of the world. once i remind myself that i am myself, i just really could give a fuck. this is why i am always so fucking happy. not giving a fuck feels so good. i mean, when someone you care about kind of treats you like shit as a form of reassurance, i say come on fuck that, fuck this, with no hesitation. how bad IS that? i need to work on my character.

until death do we part,
jlc.

8:42 pm - 05.25.04

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