vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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You Know It You Love It You Want It You Got It

music: peaches, "aa xxx"

I JUST SAW PEACHES! OMGILOVEPEACHES ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS I'VE EVER SEEN. EVER.

god it's like the whole time, the center of the stage was her GROIN AREA, and how great is THAT
girls like her are so hot. she made me smile. i love seeing women like that in power, it totally turned my night around and put me in a good mood.
at the end she invited this big group of girls from the audience to play peaches-kareoke, this one heavier girl was so awesome. she was shaking it like everybody's business and was grinding into what i think was her girlfriend. life rules. i lvoe girls.

i wasn't sure what i thought of electrocute, the opening band. i saw them as kind of submissive. i don't think they went about the whole sexual thing right. weird vibe. it's like they were treating themselves as toys for other people. trying really hard to look sexy... bedroom eyes, s&m imagery, etc. i'm getting pretty bored with that shit. whereas peaches, it's just the opposite. peaches is her own toy, peaches is sexual whether you think so or not.. peaches is sexual whether she is deep throating a microphone or has fake blood pouring out of her mouth, she is just effortlessly sexual

i cannot WAIIIIIT to see jd samson again <33333333333333 beautiful

anyway, that was part of geoff's birthday present cuz he loves peaches.
we half-danced

i turned 19 yesterday
c. phoned me first thing in the morning. (the guy who has been trying to hang out with me for the past month and doesn't take a hint). like take a hint buddy there's a REASON why i haven't phoned you in a month. i don't KNOW him, i have no clue who he is, and we have like nothing to talk about??? what does he want from me?!?? go away!

i had a lot of classes, but at least they were good ones. i think my philosophy ta likes me, so that's good. stella, this REALLY awesome black woman in my women's studies class smiles at me from across the room. we always catch eyes and smile. she talked to me after class one day about something i said in the discussion and how she agreed with it. i'm always really interested in what she has to say. she says such awesome things. she's like 40 or something. i LOVE that class. it's more like a SUPPORT GROUP to me. i'd really like to volunteer at the women's centre.. the only thing is that i am REALLY busy
i wanna do so many things there is just so much shit to do and i don't know what to pick
i need to pick something and work hard at it and then excell in it, WAYYY better than doing a bunch of half assed things. i have a lot of ambition for a lot, i just can't choose what to dedicate myself to.
i think it's going to be this zine thing. i'm starting this one thing on race as being socially constructed by early colonizers as a means to justify hierarchies and domination/invasion. i think i will end up writing as a "career" (in some way or another), i can always articulate myself way better on paper than orally, and i think if i start to make really good zines and send them out to bigger zines, like bitch, i could maybe work my way up somehow. plus it gives me a reason to draw! i have the front drawn so far.

chestnut ian is weeeirrrrd
innis ian is niiiiiiiice

i went to my sister's last night and that was fun. she has a real home over there, it's nice to see her all settled in and i'm really glad she has rita. she gave me awesome presents, all stuff that i really need! i feel shitty when people buy me stuff though, i'll be happy with just a nice letter or something. michelle got me a magazine, socks, (EXPENSIVE) underwear, CHOCOLATE, she gave me her old pair of jeans and i think they fit me but i need an opinion, crazy stuff. AND she had g and i over for cake and icecream and whipped cream. yumyumyum.

i dragged geoff to bloor st cuz i had to return alphaville (i rented it but never had time to watch it. fuck.), and we rented heaven (or "paradis"). it is a really good watchable but beautiful interesting film. &i guess it's pretty conceptual. usually, really conceptual films are infested with flaws and aren't much of a joy to watch, but i think this film compromises those two things. geoff gave me presents. he spent a lot of fucking money on me and i feel really really bad. the highlight was the letter. and the purse, stuff he made. it's awesome. it was kind of overwhelming, like, it's just ME.. like why would someone go to such lengths to get ME these awesome things and balbhalh? geoff is a sweet young man. i love him. "today is your magical date of birth." hahah

today we woke up and went to the queen's park because it was, like, THE best fall day. EVER. we named squirrels and pigeons. half-tailed joe, M.A.S.T.A.D.O.R. (the fat one that tried to attack me. i named it.), sinbad, bligeon, pove, borsey-morrissey, and others. we also herded all these pigeons. i planned to walk through them, but we actually herded them. i got the strays. kahah. it was SUCH a nice day

then i came home and cleaned my room and worked on anthropology my mom came to visit and brought me some stuff.

i had a good birthday. it's been a big giant sunday-thursday birthday celebration. i never want to die.

my roommates had a surprise bday party for me tonight before peaches
the lights off thing and everything
a sweet card and a gift certificate for the theatre
i got ANOTHER cake, strawberry daiquiris, and shots.

i gotta stop eating cake man
i haven't had one meal today
my mom told me today that i have lost weight
i'ld like to keep it that way

1:14 am - 10.10.03

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