vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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all you hos, all you fucking hos

music: the piranhas, girls like it too

i like it when you do it right thurr.

yesterday was THE worst day at work EVER.
1) it was insanely busy and i made "shoot me in the head" motions throughout the whole day.
...in my mind.
2) got scammed by a shoplifting professional and it pissed me off, just the fact that someone fooled me. $20 short = me looking like a thief. dear white trash lady: i'm on your side, just please don't do it through me. i like having a job so i can have money too. thank you.
3) my parents came home.

my father boasted for 20 minutes about the FIFTEEN shirts he bought
my mother got me a snazzy bracelet, do you know?
i tried to hide how miserable i was to see them home.
oh and upon their return, my cat, in a fit of rage, has taken it upon himself to avoid them at all costs by staying quite close to me, read: never leave me again you heartless assholes

friday and saturday, however, was 4938% more enjoyable, so i suppose it all balances out in the end. the heart of this balance goes by the name of geoffrey
i went to peterborough and we met in this little plaza thing, it was ultra cute. i thought we were going to have dinner in ptbo, but we decided to come home (blvl) first.
on the way we decided to pay campbellford a little visit, seeing as though it is our city and we made it and they worship us and all.
i bought us ice cream, it was out of this little window on the sidewalk. you ring a bell and then the girl comes out to give you ice cream. it's terrific
so the ice cream melted faster than i could eat it, some of it DRIPPED on my SHIRT!, i cried, g gave me his jacket, then we chased bunnies, but geoff could never see them when i foudn them, waved at cops, growled at growling dogs, walked along the waterss, found out the scrap metal posters were taken DOWN!!!!!!, cried, gave him a daisy, cheered him up, he put it in my hair, that cheered me up, pretended the furniture store was our home, ate their plastic popcorn, holly is a ho, etc etc. it's a neverending adventure

came home and relaxed and hung out here, that was really nice. at about midnight we got hungry so we went to subway but they were CLOSED! and my fuck, we stood out there pouting like fat hungry children. that didn't work, so we flashed my car lights on and off into the store as they were cleaning. that didn't work either, and by that time, we were REEALLL riled up. so what better revenge than to go to mr.sub?!? yay

we came back home and stars were out so we enjoyed those. it got coldcoldcold so we came back inside. the night was nice, overall. we watched about a boy and i just only wanted to show him that "shake yr ass" part. that's the best fucking part in a movie, ever.
something about geoff makes me not ever want to go to sleep even when it's 4.30am!
well we did. but i was watching him sleep and was looking at him and i just about said "WOW!!!" out loud and woke him up! what a babe! but i held it back.

then we went out to cora's the next day, and sat down. found out they don't serve lunch on weekends so we just got up and left haha. it's a good thing, otherwise laura w. would've been serving us and i really dislike her. she's this overtly pretentious girl that was in my oac philosophy class, and the bad thing is, not to be mean, but she didn't even have anythign to be pretentious about
so anyway i didn't have to deal with her and try to be nice
we went to paulo's instead. my friend's dad owns it. they have a mansion in switzerland. yeah. they are loaded. anyway, i had an oven pizza thing and geoff had a cursed greek salad.

it had no lettuce, so it consisted of dressed up:
green peppers, yellow peppers, onions, tomatoes, olives, zucchini, and little pieces of feta.

well. the problem was that geoff hates:
green peppers, yellow peppers, onions, tomatoes, olives, zucchini.

kahah. he told me so half way through the meal. it was hilarious. i got the best photo of him with it. i offered to switch him meals but he just would not have it! he toughed it out and picked out the pieces of feta and forced down some peppers and tomatoes with a face of disgust to follow
it was actually really really CUTE

then! we went to the ice cream parlour, and the girl was mean to geoff and talked weirdly. she made our ice cream wrong and everything. there was just.. nothing right about her.

then we left for ptbo. it was time to send him back from where he came from. just kidding. so along the way there, i took hwy 30 so we could pass by all the little cities and we stopped at every antique and flea market along the way and told as many people as possible how we are tourists from a far away magical land
thank you to the 12' pig made out of hay
i took two very cute photos of geoff, i will explain more about that part of the trip through those once the photos are up. they'll be up next week.

so then it started to POUR so we got to ptbo and stopped at vic park to wait for it to calm down a little. it didn't, and i was worried about driving so far in the pouring rain in the dark on 4 hours of sleep, so i went home at 6. so he says he owes me dinner and that's ok with me.
i miss this boy. he has been phoning me a lot though.

i also miss a lot of my friends a whole lot. i miss a lot of people.
i'm gonna ask meghan to come out to dinner sometime this week. i'll have to make a lot of friends too. make more friends somehow in toronto.

today was relaxing. i figured out my courses, as my enrolment is tomorrow at 8am sharp!
i'm taking women's studies, political science, history of western philosophy, anthropology, sociology, and spanish (the language).
i took 6 so i can just test out spanish, i'm a little edgy about it.
nothing conflicts, i'm just hoping i get in them all.

i'm also a little edgy about something else that i can't discuss here because it's way too serious and just really fucking scary. i'm really hoping that the problem is no longer a problem ASAP. aww hurry up please. i'm actually really really worried.

i need sleeep

music: bjork

well. i've come to face the fact, and the fact is that and geoff is quite possibly the most beautiful young man ever to touch this earth. and by quite possibly, i mean most definitely. it's hard getting around using the term "boyfriend", as i am presently refusing to call him that, but by everyone else's (and his) definition, that is what he is to me. i guess.
to me the term connotes a possessive, immature, knowingly temporary nature and i just feel it to be kind of empty and rather hey-it's-1954-let's-go-to-the-drive-in

i have never met anyone who feels the same way, most flaunt around the fact that they are "dating" someone (also another term i despise) like it's the best thing that's ever happened to them

in one way i feel like i am moving backwards.
i like to live inside myself most of the time, and if i can't, i'll play real life jamie-lynn and pretend i am a real person and that can be a lot of fun. everyone has imaginary lives. your colours may not be equal to my colours. your people may look like my monsters, and vice versa. it's all relative.

perhaps it's the fact that i would like to construct my own language, or i wish there were no language at all, and this is basically my frustration translated into lameo pixelated format?
it's annoying alone to feel emotions and to know that they are "emotions," diagnosed to you as "sad" or "happy" or "ecstatic" or "love". people hear the word "emotion", and boom, they recognize it, and all of a sudden know what yr all about.

"i know you don't love me because you love only yourself. i am just the same. so love me."

'when you prick me, do i not bleed?'
oh we all bleed, but i could never feel your pain.

"i feel the same way" is such an ignorant phrase. we could both feel like unicorns, but we DEFINITELY would not feel the same way.

well, it's difficult expressing your frustration with language through language. so i will feel it and you will not and i will know the feeling and we will move on.

i feel like a unicorn.

like. omg.

i really need a makeover, cuz GOD i look like total shit. sos.
i'm just a complete mess and i am getting these massive headaches lately. i'm a little worried that they are migraines, but i have no idea how to rate my pain to determine that, so who cares.

i am getting sort of into religious idolatry lately. but dont get any ideas.

11:35 pm - 08.04.03

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