vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's my party and i'll

- everything went wrong yesterday.
- i cried.
- i am broke. instead of whining about it, i am trying to make a list of alternatives. but, i am going to be totally scrounging for cash next year. so i'm thinking of ideas, like eating out ONLY on occasion, selling some cds, just downloading music, stop getting fancy clothes, etc
- toronto was fun but i don't think it was a good idea to bring geoff. i think my sister is mad at me for not spending saturday night with her. i didn't think it'd be a good idea to have him around when she is obviously going through some issues, he is kind of touchy touchy so i figured that's the last thing she'd wanna see. the whole thing was just a bad idea. i didn't leave a note on sunday becuase we were in a TOTAL hurry (i almost missed my train.) and then when i got home i couldn't get on the internet to write her an email so she was all huffy when i talked to her last. and i had to go cuz my grandfather was in the hospital. i was not a very good houseguest and she seems serioulsy mad and i'm sorry for it. she comes home any second so we'll see how she is.
- i don't like holding hands all that much. how do i stop this.
- we got yyys tickets and now i am putting mine up for sale. because we are dumb and didn't check the date (like a day before i move.) anyone want it? yeahyeahyeahs at opera house, all ages, $16. i'm selling only one. there's more at rotate right now even though the site says sold out.
- ran into my best friend MEGHAN on the train! weirrrd. it was nice to catch up. i think we are getting together on friday, but now that i've realized how low on money i am, i don't wanna go out for dinner anymore. grr. saw marcelle and it was awkward, she is acting weird around me.
- i'm sad because my sister was really mean to me last night and i honestly didn't mean to hurt any feelings. i am anxious to resolve it, but i'm not sure how to go about doing that. i talked to geoff about it tonight and it made me feel better. i usually don't like talking to people about my problems and things that are bothering me (the sole purpose i write about it in this journal i think.) but for some reason i feel comfortable telling geoff about it, he made me feel kind of better. i can tell meghan about that stuff too, i'm going to miss her.
- the more relationships you have, the more complicated life gets.i hate it. sometimes i think it's not worth it and have second thoughts but i've decided that it IS worth it. i just have to be much more careful
- i had a major scare last week and i had never been faced with something so serious in my life. i am not going to discuss what it was about here or anywhere else or with anyone, ever. except maybe mary.
- i am goign to go insane in toronto. i know it. eventually i will naturally train myself to disregard all those people on the street. it'll eventually fuck up my head, and my relationships, and cool.
- i'm tired
- i am going to cry on the 24th too.

9:54 pm - 08.12.03

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next