vaneigem's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ALL THESE PEOPLE suddenly it dawned on me. i look probably the best i ever will look. well maybe not. i plan to be a yoga lady when i am old. but basically the idea is that i am a young lady and i dont give no fucking shits. i will have sex 24/7 if i could. well maybe not 24 7 but you know. i got a cute dress today. it is navy blue. actually i got two. one is frilly and kind of like too slutty to wear to something like someones wedding and kinda too nice to wear to a club or something, but is more along the lines of the latter. the other is something i could definitely wear casually and too teaching so im all mothafuckin good. fuck fuck balls shit cum cock dick tits. yeah im swearing a lot lately. that is my style these days uhhh i went into vintage whatever on ossignton, i always forget the fucking number that comes with that store. 561? fucked if i know. its on ossington and just south of dundas. there is nice stuff there for men. there are some really nice boots and shoes for men. why dont men wear nicer shoes??? why dont you guys wear nice beautiful leathery beatlesy stuff???? there is so much hot shit out there. make your pants a little bit short, wear those shoes and you will look hot. that is the simple fucking idea so just do it. where is everyone in my hosue??? i kind of feel like modelling for ashley. whenever i get new stuff she always makes me model it. school was soooNUTS last week. i have been really full of work but i am feeling more confident. i have already kind of done this practicum shit, so i feel like i am a few steps ahead all of my colleagues. which i havent been using as a secret weapon or anything, the people that i talk to i try to sort of reassure people that it iwll be cool. it is not too big of a deal. i snooped up my associate on the oct and he seems alright. he is an english and MATH? teacher and im telling you right now i am not fucking doing math. that is not what im doing. that is not my profession, that is not my interest and i will not do that. so i think it will be good though because i'll make more connections that way. ijt's kind of an advantage. i had a big presentation. there is guy in my history class who i really like. he has been sitting beside me lately and its nice to have some cool people to chill with. i find everyone sort of weeds out and naturally form cliques like in high school. in my history class there is like the asian table, the radical/cool table, the conservative grumpy people, the boring girls, and the clubby girls. ive made some cool friends so its good. i am going to be ona rollercoaster in a few weeks so im trying to stay super on top, even ahead (i wish) of my work so i have time to chill before my practicum starts. im planning to be a huge overachiever during this time. i may not have a choice. they say you should spend 3 hours a night per lesson. if i teach 3 lessons the next day, that means i am going to spend 9 hours preparing? fucking what. so if i get home from high school at 4pm, iwork immediately, it means i can go to bed at 1am and get 5 hours sleep? fuck me. fuck, i guess i've done it a lot. beginner teachers work fucking hard. if you dont you are going to fuck yourself hard, there really isn't a choice. so thats why im kind of anxious/trying to chill out about for when it starts. i will probably update this crying all the time. people ask me what the fuck i learn at school, so i basically learn strategies and also theory surrounding power dynamics, some activist stuff, and kind of logistical bureaucratic stuff. i ran into mike today and it sort of freaks me out.he is that guy who was in love iwth me from my res during the summer that all the lawyers and shit were there . he has some sort of radio company, i dont know. he wasnt as fucking weird as he normally is so thats a plus. i went into that girl frieday sotre because it looked like they had nice necklacesi n their window. that store is kind of a piece of shit. i am outta it. i am listening to a lot of bathory and ariel pink again. i love ariel. i was thinking maybe hes just how i may have looked at say the rapture in 2003, but i feel that i'll like him just as much in say 5 or 6 years. he is classic and i think eh should be a prime fucking staple in everyones diet. i love his music. i have some rare stuff from genev that i dont think many people have and it is amazing. that sad one i think italked about, but it's like just a jam and its the most amazing shit youve ever heard. im obviously overexaggerating but its really powerful and gives me chills, at least. i "vegged" last night. ahsley and i ordered a pizza and watched I AM SAM, which is a really good movie. sean penn is hot. if he was a little sweeter and quieter he would be really hot. the film has a lot of beatles references because "sam" is obsessed with the beatles. my sister was named after the song michelle he references that when he is asked why he should have custody of his daughter and it almost made me cry. this morning after i woke up, i watched some youtube videos of the beatles and john lennon. i watched IMAGINE and was really annoyed by it. imagine the video can suck my dick. i became very cynical and then i watched some interview with john lennon and yoko ono. john is pretty cool but he needs to shut up sometimes. i dont know how many times he interrupted yoko. yoko is wearing a cool outfit in it, some sort of orange silk romper with a black beret and her boobs are just kind of hanging out there, it rules. the dynamic of their relationship annoys me. then i watched a george harrison video and i am more into him. he is cooler to me. then i watched a video ofpaul mccartney holding back tears while listening to "beautiful boy" post-lennon-death. that made me warm up to paul. but paul looks like a baby so im into george. tonight i need to hurry up and work on a lesson plan and maybe some other shit. bie 6:34 pm - 10.18.08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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