vaneigem's Diaryland
Diary
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FUR-GO, NORTH DAKOTA
I wrote this at 12:40am but I forgot to post it. The most recent hour of my life:
11:40pm, rush out of my house to go to Shoppers Drug Mart. I am convinced I need to buy envelopes and glue stick right this sentence. I mean minute.
11:42am, hop on bike. Notice police car, I grow increasingly paranoid, within that second time frame, that they are judging whether to fine me or not. Because of my non-lit bicyclette.I realize I'm being ridiculous.
11:48am approx, run to shoppers, buy some rather crisp clean looking big envelopes. I wonder whether the more solid darker colour is nicer than the recycled paper grainy pulpy kind. I go for the cheaper ones. I'm still on the fence about that one. They are for my college applications. I decide to buy double sided tape, because I had spent the last hour cutting and trying to mod podge my application together but it turned out fucking kinda bubbly and shitty. I decided I would try this before trying the spray glue.
11:50am, I check out and I ask the girl if there's any stamps. She is like, "Well... I dont have them here... right now" as she quickly glances to an aisle, with dodgey eyes. I figured she was in a position where she could have got me some, but really didn't want to, becuase it was midnight and there was a line, so she withheld information from me, and I respected her fully and oh-okay-cool-thanks-anywayed.
12:00am, drop my things off at my house. Envelopes uncrinkled.Set them on my kitchen table. I leave with a sense of ownership over my kitchen.
12:05am, hop outside to go for a bike ride. I bike for 30 minutes.I think I see Jimmys friend Matt K but I wasnt sure so I continued biking.
12:30am, I see another cop car. I hop off my bike and walk casually, like I'm about to walk into a house. When I get far enough from the police car I hop back on and go go go. This police paranoia needs to stop. I think its my guilty conscience from that other night.
12:32am, I see a woman in a car with two children. I imagined their story. If they are travelling from another city, or if they are escaping an abusive household, or if they are going to the hospital, or if they actually live in this car, or if they are going ot the grocery store for some odd reason.
12:33am, I approach my house. A pretty girl carrying a big hockey bag crosses me. She is a hot girl that plays hockey so I check her out. We cross each other and she goes into the house beside my house. We are neighbours and it is the first time I have seen her. We are exactly synchronized as we grab our keys and unlock our doors. I think hard about saying, "Isn't it weird that we both came home at the exact same odd time?" But I figured it was 12:30am, on a Sunday, she clearly just played hockey, is probably tired, and doesn't want to talk to anyone. I withheld my comment and walked up my steps.
12:35am, I tried on Carly's coat that was sitting there buecase it looks really nice. No one was around nad I went fo r it. She is really skinny and the coat is like a mu-mu on me, so I was confused. I understand that it looks capey on her and she is much taller and it has a different effect.
12:37 my stomach really hurts at 12:37. I couldnt decide if it was because I ate too much (probably not since I had a sandwich only today. and peppermint thingies.), so I decided it was because I didnt eat enough so my stomach was eating itself. I made a midnight snack.
12:39 I think about how I need a break form applications and I write this. Earlier I watched THE YEAR OF THE DOG and it is fucking funny. It is like one big joke about veganism. There is this part where she babysits her brothers small children and schemes to take them to a chicken farm/slaughterhouse , and the conniving look on her face when their parents leave on their trip is so funny. I fucking love molly shannon. Is there a biogrphy out about molyl shannon? If so I want to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm reluctant, in case I find out shes a really boring person or is super conservative or something horrible. But she can't be!
1:59 pm - 11.19.07
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