vaneigem's Diaryland Diary
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AQUACURIOUS
HIE
I ate a subway sandwich. I have had a slice of bread and an apple all day so I feel starved. I am also ridiculously tired becaue I couldn't sleep last night. DUe to various retarded shit that I should have walked away from. But I never walk away from anything I guess. I wonder why.
I did my lesson on Tuesday, and it went really well. I had major anxiety over it because the last time wasn'tt he greatest experience but only because things didnt'turn out how i exactly pictured it in my mind. I shouldnt think that way. But that day I did. I am working closer with Kurt now, which is a vast improvement from Thom's scary classes. He has a relaly interesting approach but I was observing today and realized how much it really doesn't work for me and that's why I feel so uncomfortable assisting him. I learn a lot from him though. Kurt is just so nice and fucking cool, and his class is a lot more welcoming and positive. Right now we are talking a lot about revolutions and exmaning how and where they start (in the MIND). We started talking a lto about economics, and this one kid was like "Well... but then so maybe we should have a revolution." It was really cute and awesome. Doing lessons for me right now is really super stressful, but it's something that I have to do and it gets easier and easier as you go it seems. I have like.... a million million times more respect for teachers, actually. I thought I would go in to learn about how easy it is but I'm learning the opposite-- it is fucking hard. Teaching is definitelty suited to a small percentage of the population. To be honest I kind of feel the job is a bit above me after learning all thist stuff. Which is good, its something to aim for and then I can push the line ever further.
I found out that Meghan lost one of her babies. I wonder how she feels. It kind of makes me sad that she doesn't talk to me and confide in me like she used to. I know it's becuase we don't hang out anymore much because we don't live inthe same cities, and we haven't for years. I am excited to see her again. She is so strong and I admire her. We grew up togeths and I have confidence we will do movies. I foudn out who her mystery sperminator is, and I saw him, and I think they are together. I think it's strange she never mentioned him to me, and has avoided the topic, so I had been sort of doubtful that anyone was involved at all. I dont want to butt into her business but I care about her I guess. I couldnt imagine any man who could abandon her, she is the kindest person you'll ever meet which I sweart o you as the truth.
Sometimes I wonder if this war (these wars..) will eventually get so bad that it more directly affects people here adn then there will be a big revolution. I kind of ahave a lot of confidence that some big ideas and changes are going to occur and I sure hope most of all that I live to see the day. I think, at least. Also I'm kind of questioning my loose devotion to social democracy. It is kind of a gradualist copout in someways. I guess maybe speaking for my lifetime, I am alla bout social democracy. It has a lot of practicality but it doens't have too much charm .
This is the dawning of the age of... aquariusssss aquaaaaaaRIUS!!!!!!!!! aquarrrrrrrrrr iusssss
Tomorrow is Jenny's bday, and the day afte ris Ashley's birthday. We are going out or something. I do my college applications this weekend so I am taking it easy, and I went so hardcore with Geoff's event last weekend. I feel like I talk hear speak and do school. School is my life lately, in the multiple ways that I am involved with SCHOOL. WHen I'm not in school I'm hanging out with people and then nothing creative and productive happens.
I think I am crawling in my bed and watching a movie tongith because I am so so tired. I have geoffs jacket which is my fav thing right now. I am trying to figure out his ipod but I cant figure out how to turn this thing on.
Also my other favourite thing right now is coffee. It is my lifeblood. Black coffee for here.
5:29 pm - 11.01.07
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