vaneigem's Diaryland Diary
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TALAGH
BONJOUR
I am on a Francoise Hardy kick. I thought I hated Francoise Hardy for awhile, because I saw a duet with her and Jane Birkin and I almost fell asleep, in the bad way. So I suppose I wasn't completely generalizing. It's actually Jane Birkin who I don't like, but maybe I'll chang emy mind about that too. Since living with Veronique though, I have gotten into it, and some more recent French music like Jean LeLoup. I'd be happy living in a mountain making dinner everynight listening to this sweet candy.
I'm pretty sure if I could go back to any time period, it would probably be the 60s. Screw the Renaissance.
ANd while I'm talking about music, I may as well mention a few more things. Final Fantasy is awesome. I know I am sucking the dust from a wagon that is farrrrr ahead of me, but shit! This may sound cheesyt, but I felt totally "connected" to his performance last night. THat impressed me because usually it takes a small venue, being up the front, and hardly anybody around to feel like I connected with something. But this was at canada day harbourfront full of total fuckbrains and just annoying families. He was great. I was telling geoff that I suspected his music to be about more the experience than the final product, and it was. It was completely spectacular... all from one guy, a violin, piano, recording device, and a little screen. Then he collaborated with a backup band, and they all brought the guy down. The Debbie Downer Backup Band.
I thought it was really cool that all these people were into it and/or being exposed to it.. old and young. For me as a child, I saw KIDEO. I sort of looked at this little boy wearing a hockey hat and he seemed really into the performance. It sort of made me happy.
But anyway I won't go on about it... I was impressed, it was cool, and dat's dat. Good on geoff for suggesting we go.
Geoff and I had a nice day yesterday.. we spent a lot of time together and it was nice adn chill.
On saturday night some guy called g. up telling him he saw me holding a guys hand coming out of a dj night. The last thing I need is some lame scene guy who sees someone who "looks like" me calling up my boyfriend saying I'm cheating on him. geoff was obviously pretty whatever about it because he knew that was pretty out of ummm character for me and that I obviously would not do that. Granted, a friend would naturally call his friend up under this suspicion. But guy should have the decency and respect to at least check before making phone calls. holding hands outside a club.. jesus christ. Sorry to burst your drama bubble, buddy.
I've been hanging with Jenny on a casual basis. It is sort of nice to have a friend that lives here to talk to everyday or close to it. We live three seconds away so it's brought us to hang out a bunch. We usually chill on patios but a couple of times i have gotten dragged to shithole clubs. Now that I have a bike I can be like SEE YOU!!! She is a good person though... we are just different.
Apart from that, I've been busy with school but it's chill for the next week. Which is sweet becauseI"m going to eric's sweet fucking cottage.
I am really trying to work on stuffbut it's hard. I have serious anxiety over the next year. I think about it everyday. I feel guilty investing my energy into other things when I think if I put this little extra bit of focus, maybe I could get into this school.....
It consumes my brain and so I feel pretty boring lately. I'll feel better once I start doing more volunteering again.
Today is an empty blah day. I think I am feeling the hangover, that I shoul dhave had yesterday, today.
Also I'd say 80% of what I write in here is completely embarrassing but whatever. Something Ive been thinking a lot about is fashion / style ishness. I'm trying to wrap my head around it. I had this rant earlier I think that I just am frustrated with basically everything and teh solution was to just walk around naked or something. I think it bugs me because it's just as sheepish as being a jock or something. I wish I had the time and energy to invest more into individual style and not fall into trends. So I think I was pretty confused. I think it's also less to do with style and more with superficiality. You see it on profile websites and SOME blogs and party photo sites and you can just feel the vibe at events. It scares me to think people go to parties, take pictures at parties, post pictures from parties, talk about the parties, talk about the next party, go to the party, and so on. I know for a fact some people do that and it freaks me the hell out. Like... read a fucking book. I feel that I look like shit most of the time. My outfits are boring and uncreative. I feel that I could do a lot better, even effortlessly. I suppose I was just speaking from my own inadequacies and personal dissatisfaction. Which is the point. I am at times bored by this culture and myself by association.
I'm writing and drawing and reading.
2:06 pm - 07.02.07
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