vaneigem's Diaryland Diary
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dont mind bein naked
I'm not too far from dying.
I'm in a big dilemma in which I dont particularly WANT to say anything about the situation but really feel like I must and have to because it is destroying something very special.
Cassie was around all day so I didn't have the privacy to do music. Everyone was gone tonight though so that's been good. However, I saw in the corner of my eye something quick in the crack of my door. We have a door in our hallway which leads to another hallway, and then to a separate entrance used by the person who lives in the basement. So if we left this chain unlocked, the person living in the basement could come on in. After seeing this thing float quickly, I realized the chain was dangling and it freaked me the hell out. It is like hyperreality. I read an article on hyperreality. It works to the effect of.... let's say you are driving down a dirt road lost at midnight in a secluded desserted forest area, and you can't help but picture a man with a chainsaw running to your car any second. Getting trapped in the movies. Anyway, the first thing I did was lock that door and I searched everywhere in my house to make sure no one freaky was there. So... if I get murdered tonightin my sleep, send this to the detective.
I am really into Charles Manson again. I am actually more interested in Susan Atkins. What a kite.
Things are going well in my house. Things are chill enough. With each passing week it's growing more and more comfortable. I think my next living situation I'd like to live with just one other person or on my own in a bachelor. I would like to do some things and clean up around here still. It could be a lot nicer for what it is. They still like students and I'm pretty over that. I'd like a nice home. I'm sucking it up and buying a kitchen table , even.
So much shit to do tomorrow. Once again I've wasted half of my day tomorrow by staying up late doing irresponsible things like music . Kirsti is sending me her shit tomorrow I think. I have to send Ben my application to volutneer in an altntv high school.
I'm going to lunch/early dinner with Meredith tomorrow and it will be really nice. She is so funny.
I am in love with G. It is sort of a more mature non-clingy love than from the past, I feel. I feel kinda like the past few days I have been getting to know him a lot better again. Which sounds weird when youve known someone for 6 or 7 years but it's always thus. I feel like I should say something extremely sappy but I'm way too tired.
4:12 am - 06.05.07
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