vaneigem's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sister sister my favourite thing to do is get up before 9am , and actually make a breakfast that i put on a plate and eat with a fork and knife and listen to good chilled out music as if the day is a brand new thing where everything is going to be okay. when i do this and 3pm hits, i look back at myself like a lazy sack of shit for having ever gotten up in the afternoon. and i do this frequently mainly because ever since last summer, my sleeping patterns are fucked. once you learn how to stay up until 7am like a breeze, it's really tempting to not do it. this coffee is fucking good. i learned to like it this year, but it makes my stomach feel like it's rotting whenever i drink it. maybe it wont this time. this summer i'm taking a course where my classes start at 10am. considering i'm now living a bit far out from school (a really really good thing), this means i should probably leave at like 9:30, which means i should get up at maybe 8:30am for over a month in the SUMMER. fuck! i really wanna say this will be really good for me, but id be lying. seriously fuck that shit. i guess i'll have to learn to love it. im really thinking about getting a bunny, like seriously serious serious. if there's one thing i hate, is when kids or students get cats when they get a place and don't take care of it or don't have the money to take care of it and just have to give it away in a year. i want to be responsible with it because its a serious decision beyond the obvious fun factor of having a bunny. we could go to the park together! holy shit. couldn't sleep last night, broke into some weird sweat so i had to take all my clothes off. the day before i slept and slept and slept. i had a deep sleep that night, woke up and hung out and did some stuff, and then went back to bed for 3 hours. it was insane. i had a really difficult week this week though and maybe acquired... 13 hours of sleep in week-total. alright this is my boring thing where i talk about sleeping this summer i hope to get started on working on film for this thing. i'm hoping it will eventually get played at the empire which is this alternative thing in blvl so i need to think of a way to market it not just to punk kids but to parents too. maybe get parents to open their minds to shows and their kids playing music, so i'll have to throw some wholesome shit in there. i know exactly who to interview. i'm good friends with this guy isaac who is kind of the coolest kid in the world. he was this little 12 year old that went to punk shows and stood in the corner to watch his older brothers bands play. anyway his dad used to take him, and he is sorta the coolest guy in the world. hes gone to lots of them, i remember seeing him hanging out in the back of shows and thinking it was cool that dads were going. so hes one. i also wanna go to that mountain that chas is on and interview him. that would be really amazing. bug + ike live in fucking kansas now so i dunno. blvl has a pretty active local cultural thing going on and i think the film would contribute. i helped michelel and matt move in on the weekend and the area they live in now is so awesome. i really would like to live around there if i stay in toronto for awhile. its kinda my dream area. this made me realize that their is TONS of toronto that i havent seen or even realized they existed , same with last summer and there were some really cool places that revitalized any hope i had in toronto. this summer i wanna discover more so u should come with me. anyway i like matt a lot and i hope he becomes my brother eventually even though i already call him my brother anyway. i hugged him bye for the first time after i helped them move in an expression of my sisterly love for him. ha ha. also they are taking me out to dinner, i think they really appreciated that i helped them move. it was kinda a piece of cake, and fun! im seeing my childhood good friend laura today. shes awesome. she might be living with axl next year and i cant wait for him to come back. so if they get a place together that is going to rule so hard and i'll go to ottawa all the time even though that place kinda sucks. when you got friends it doesnt make a differnece. i was thinking while laying in bed last night that i could die today and be really satisfied with my life, and then i thought about how that really isn't a good thing. i think kinda every friend i know is so interesting and id love to read books they write about growing up cuz everyone is pretty interesting. im kinda just hanging out , stalling time until i have to go to work. this has cleared my mind thoroughly and now i'll have a good day of studyingand reading for gender and law. id like to go hardcore with this one, this is my last week of school so i have to go hard. my dad is coming to visit which is nuts-- ive lived here for 3 years and hes come once , for my sister's graduation. i said this to my friend and they kinda looked like that was a really bad thing as if they thought my dad was a bad dad or soemthing. it made me feel kinda shitty. its just the way my dad is i guess. he doesnt say much and he isnt very affectionate or emotional at all, and ive hda my share of problems with him but i know he loves me and thats all id ever ask for i guess. its just his way of dealing with things, i may handle them differently but it doesnt make him bad , its just how he is. people need to be not so judgmental and also be more understanding of their parenst cuz theyre human too , and they fuck up too . thats why i really like this film dear frankie, its kind of about that and it really affected me. so yeah i dont know i guess i should go finish this coffee and get busy experiencing this rare early morning. im gonna phone some people today, im kinda bad with returning phone calls i really like receiving them though. im pretty phone-selfish. its osmething i'm trying to improve. its so sweet that people think of me and i appreciate it like somethin else. kinda giddy lately i wanna find a beautiful wooden antique bed, but i think i may want to find something that i cna have forever and that probably means getting a queen but i only have a double. i wanna avoid ikea at all costs but hey its cheap i guess. beds are personal things, i mean i woujld feel weird having sex in a bed frame that millions of other people in the world are also having sex on. i mean im sorry but i had to say it. maybe thats weird for me to think. i think the most romantic thing is sleeping on a bed you make, maybe ill do it. anyway bye 9:59 am - 04.17.06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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