vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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Seeing the opposite of all things

music: akd djke ne;

bonjour.
i am sitting here in my underwear, writing to you from TORONTO! in my beautiful living pad that is apartment 734.

and PLEASE, if i am asked "where are you from?" and subsequently "what program are you in?" ONE MORE TIME, i am going to BLOW.

anyway, the apartment suite is super nice. word has it that we're damn lucky.. my four lovely roommates and i have (apparently!) the best suite in the tower! i guess all the spaces here are larger than the other suites because of the wheelchair accessible rooms! yet none of us are handicapped in any physical way! wow! go disability!
did good.
i am all settled in, but my clothes are jumbled into 6 drawers. i haven't had time to organize them.

last week (a couple weeks? i forget.) i did not update. i was sick with tonsillitis. i did not sleep for 4 days, had only about a half a bowl of soup each day for a week and that is all. lost 7 pounds. the first group of pills i was taking gave me anxiety attacks. my body just did not respond well to the them at all actually, and my throat therefore grew a monstrous life of its own, thus blocking my air passage ways. aww don't you love it when they do that! the next doctor (this one actually said "hello!"!!! how fancy is THAT) gave me new medication and it took me a week but i think i'm all better now. man was i ever fucking ill. i heard my dad cried cuz he was so worried about me (i found out about this later). it was even a question as to whether i'd be going to university this year or not because i was in such bad condition. ANYWAY i am better and that is what matters. took me a few days to feel better because of the lack of sleep. i don't feel like getting bloodwork done. feels like it's a waste of my time now. i'll have to go on tuesday when i'm not so busy

turns out i'm roommates with like the only girl i talked to at that academic university orientation/barbeque thing i went to a month or two back.. emily. i get along with everyone here really well. they're all nice girls in my opinion. and all very liveable. my other roomates are alice (thin little asian girl with nice/borderline-annoying boyfriend), joanne (the serbian j-lo. it's great. i think she's my favourite one actually. we've had the most bonding moments.), and charisa (quiet girl we never see too much of.)
i've met a lot of people so far, but none that really stick in my head. i'm liking it. i've been to a few shitty house parties since moving here, nothing impressive. it's just nice to be in the city and to live on my own. i am quite enjoying getting my own groceries and stuffs.

met my little e-friend paul! i was excited to meet him and we hung out in the quad thing. he works in the building now so it's kind of weird. he was nice and energetic, but i always thought he would have been smoother and more reserved. a little more real and personable. i'm not sure what i think of him yet, i have to hang out with him more. i don't feel like explaining the whole thing, but i went to a party he was having with geoff a couple nights ago. he invited me to bring someone and he was acting all chummy and excited about it. well, the party was shit and i think paul and i exchanged only like a few words. he didn't take a few minutes out of his outsidetime to show me around the house or look happy to see me. it was just rude. i hate when people excitedly tell you shit and act all ladeeda and then when the time comes, it's fun like a funeral. that made no sense but i'm tired and YOU TOTALLY KNOW what i mean. i find it really snooty and rude. i guess some people just aren't good "hosts" or whatever.

oh and to top it off, i saw him the day after the party and talked with him and he never asked how my time was or thanks for showing up or you suck for leaving so early or even acknowledge anything to that effect. just give me something UPFRONT please.
i'm just kind of mad because i thought he was so fucking awesome, and well, unless things turn around, it's been pretty disappointing. oh well, i know, but it's just sucky cuz i genuinely thought he was one of the coolest people ever
hopefully things change a little and he still is
geoff and i have been seeing a lot of each other lately. it's kind of weird to be living in the same city and we can just phone each other up and be allllll hey baby let's hang
we have been commented on by random people on the street three times now
one man on queen said "you're good looking pair" and this other woman on college sitting on a stoop said "cute couple". kaha. it's odd

one night i actually ran into him with these four "friends" of his. i guess they just stopped him on the street and invited him to go to a party with them haha. they were these mod guys and i totally wanted to meet them! haha. but i was on the phone and it was more important. i met one of the guys today at the ocad gallery and he creeped me out

i miss painting. i brought a paint brush, i think when i go home i'm going to bring some paints and small boards with me. i figured i'd just hold off doing that for awhile since i'd be all cramped in my res, but i actually still have a LOT of space left. i brought my sketchbook. it is hidden so people can't see it. g showed me his portfolio yesterday and i REALLY lovvve this one piece. he's gonna make me a copy for my room
he wore an awesome rapture shirt yesterday when we went to kensington and i'm jealous because i fucking want it. i found really cool purses at kensington that mitch and i are gonna soup up. i'm gonna go to the hardware store today to get cut out letters and i need a clippy thing for my pants for the cards i need to get into my res.
everyone walks around with those ugly cloth necklace things that hold cards and keys and shit. i think they're so hideous.

aww i kinda missed writing in my journal
i go crazy without it

i am going to erase errata on tuesday, seeing if i can get in or not. i am not that excited about it because there's a chance i may not get in so i don't wanna get my hopes up and be all bummed.

there's this girl in my res building who walks around in a big green cape. vj (his name is like vlahkdjfakjeejkj so we call him vj.) called her lord of the rings once. haha aww. vj is FUCKING hilarious. i can see him across from my window right now. we joke about getting binoculars.

today i plan to watch first name: carmen by jean luc godard. i think we are going to get another film tonight. i think this one is something you have to watch by yourself. last night i walked around and i found a good place at night to go to and sit and write or read. it was nice to walk home by myself and just absorb everything. i got a little sad but it was in a really weird way. coming to terms that i'm in a massive city with so much going on and i'm considered so insignificant

anyway i have had enough writing, and you've probably had enough reading
i guess i should go out and meet joanne's family who is visiting right now.
i have her roses in my room right now

i need to get my hair cut soon.

this was all jumbled becasue these past couple of weeks are a big jumble in my head. i feel sorry for whoever read it.

<3 xoxoxoxox

2:01 pm - 09.07.03

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