vaneigem's Diaryland Diary

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a sink, a sink, a sink thru my hand

beastie boys, 'sabotage'

friends? they are so weird
seems when you most need them, they are never there
or leave you coughing in the dust
i guess the trick is to not need them.
run away before they can leave you coughing in the dust
i love my babies but jeez. i don't know.

blahlblahblah. who cares?
singles on saturday nights with empty glasses, snorting crushed up rose petals and receiving electric shock erections from geeky bass lines
it's really funny
they are very insistent
excuse me, you have a tap in yourr ear and a gun in your mouth

i'd rather be by myself lately and just soak in my head.
i'll just think of the people i know and how very little of them i can actually relate to.
if there was anything i remember from that graduation, i learned to remember where i come from
from resistance. i'd like to transform a lot of the bonds i have with people, the material which bonds us is not where i come from.
whatever. sometimes it is a real struggle for me to be around large groups of people.
at other times it is plain fucking fun.
it's not a good balance.
and baby, i be a libra. i neeeed dat shit

i did this paint-collage creation today.
haha.
'the assholes invade'
it was fun and i ruined some clothes. so i am using my old school shirts for painting now. cleaning up is the worst part about that. when i get my own house i'm gonna make myself a studio that i don't have to clean. or... it'll probably be like 2010 or something, and maybe by then they will have self-cleaning rooms. this would be a good thing.

and boy! jamie oliver!! i want to run around in fields with this man! easy peasy, yey?

today is canada day and i did fuck all. i stayed home, read, fucked up a painting, did it over again, listened to music, and thought. and it's awesome to turn on the shower, but just sit in the tub and close yr eyes and imagine that you are sitting on a beach and the water is hot rain.
i was supposed to go out with friends but i decided to not answer the phone.

i am watching the ring right now. the beginning was scary. i thought the video that they watch was fucking awesome. like the guy in it said "student film, roll credits!" but it was fucking cool. if that's what a lot of "student films" look like, then shit, i love student films. when they played it in the beginning i was mesmerized by it.
i remember my film teacher had all these weird videos by this one man.. i forget what his name was. but he did one film that was like 2 hours long of oceans. it was soo beautiful. i think i watched a half-hour of it and then i had to go do audio. he also did one of clouds.
but anyway, i think i am thoroughly enjoying this film. some of the shots are really shitty and half-assed, but others are beautiful. so it's good for a mainstream film.
i am seriously thinking about going to school for film eventually. i need to learn beyond the basics about lighting.

so i am going to toronto on friday-saturday.
i was going to go to some seripop art show that is going on, with controller.controller and from fiction, but i can't cuz i work early the next morning. oh well. i am looking forward to being by myself. my sister will be working, so i'll go in to see her
she depresses me sometimes. very edgy. like, she is emailing me like crazy to see if i can get some pair of stupid jeans here for her in her size. i didn't respond the next day so she sent me another saying like "COULD YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW"
i'm thinking HOLY GUACA. chill!
i'm going to some innis orientation, i might see paul there, we'll see. we haven't met before.

anyway time to go.
i have to get up super early for work tomorrow. i refuse to complain about this because i need money desperately. i am not asking for days off to go to shows, unless it's REALLLY good. i need to work a lot. the more i work now, the earlier i can quit
oh and darcy QUIT!
i am completely heartbroken. he is that nerd guy. it's so funny because his girlfriend is like this blonde beach babe! i saw her! ew!

...aww. i'm sure she nice

i need to draw, but i have to get really delerious first.
i have actually been looking in my schedule to figure out what nights i can go without sleeping so i can go all crazy.
that's awesome.
goodnight

10:57 pm - 07.01.03

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